The journey to Enlightenment is hard.
This is not the path of stroking egos, or making friends. It is the path of soul searching.
Its more than hard.
It Hurts. Its ugly. Its embarrassing. Its lonely, and often wrought with lessons in humility.
Look what Jesus went through.
3 days in a cold, dark tomb, alone, after being rejected by his peers, denounced by society, and having his living energy forcibly ripped from him, plunging him into the darkness of death.
Shit gets real.
These stages of the journey are filled with rejection, both internal and external. Its not about building up to who and manifesting what you wish to be. Its about deconstructing and removing everything that you are not.
It is not a journey to new heights.
Its a journey home.
The first time I met with the Babalawo (Father of Mysteries from the Ifa tradition), he told me in no uncertain terms, that I was carrying a curse. My ego puffed up at the thought of being exposed. I did yoga, I meditated, I lit candles and read books about magic spells. How could he tell me I wasn’t what I thought I was?
Deep down, under the suffocating weight of the ego, I knew he was right. There was something dark, occupying a void within, and he saw right through my pretty face and big words as he called out my dark side.
Of course I felt rejected. I felt that he did not like me, that he had rejected my personal journey and I was pissed that he had not authenticated my feelings of spiritual superiority.
After much thought, I realized that I had not gone before him in a spirit of authenticity. My ego was crowding my space, searching for validation, and it was blocking my path to ascension. I was refusing to learn that which I thought I already knew.
Moral of the Story ::
Humble yourself to the process. This is not a a ride on a sunny rainbow, with blooming flowers and singing birds and hand holding.
You will be rejected, deconstructed, then burned into a pile of ashes. Yet, when you mix those ashes with the tears your pained ego once cried, you will then create the clay needed to mold a new life.
You must bury the old you, to let the new you ascend. There is no way around it. There is not room for ego, insecurity or anger on this journey. Those are all the things you should be trying to shed.
There is no short cut to enlightenment. No glossy, manufactured soul upgrades will be served fast food style.
You must first transform your thoughts, before you can transform your actions.
Get out of your own way.